The Free ISP Rant...

First of I'd like to say that I'm not ungrateful for paying practically nothing to waste away hours on the net. It is wonderful that we don't have to pay anything for the phonecall, and only a monthly connection fee which is tiny in comparison to what i'd nomally have to pay. So really I shouldn't complain, but I will none the less...
All of the things I've mentioned above are great but my isp does have some little annoying features wich make me wanna throw the damn computer out the window. Wich I could because its a laptop. Obviously I'd open the window first.
Whenever I try to connect, it will rarely if ever connect the first time.
In fact, I believe the only time I have connected first time is at 11o'clock in the morning. And thats the only time I have ever needed or wanted to go on the internet at that time.
I have better things to do, like sleep.
In fact at peak times iot can take up to 30 or more attempts to connect. THIRTY. And every time you try to connect one of two things usually happens.
The first is that you get that woman saying "Sorry there has been a fault. Please try again." over and over again. This woman has the most annoying voice, ever. Not because of pitch or tone, but because it is so calm and collected when your not.
This woman could have been used in the Spanish Inquisition. The prisoners would have told her anything just to get her to stop talking.
I seriously believe this woman is evil. I even have proof. If you pick up your telephone and ring 666, the number of the beast, I'll give you three guesses as to who answers.
Thats right her telling you the number has not been recongnised. well thats just her excuse, when really she has been sent to hell for being the most annoying woman on the planet. More annoying even than Anthea Turner.
But enough of this rant within a rant, back to my internet provinder.
Another thing it will do whejn you try to connect is be answered by someone. I swea, I can here someone saying "Hello, hello?"
The poor person must think they're being stalked.
So, if you are getting strange calls, over and over of an evening, where no-one speaks: it's not a madman, it's me and my bloody ISP trying to connect to the internet. Sorry.
So if it takes half an hour to connect my initial idea of just logging on for quarter of an hour to check my email is suddenly buggered.
And once I do get on it will suddenly disconnect for no reason at all. Then I have to spend ages connecting again.
Which means if i'm talking to someone they think i'm being extremely rude. Or worse yet have logged of my the time I come back.

Anyway, it is free so i can't complain. Much